Culture

ruination

Frustration is watching porn when we’d rather write a book. It could be updating your Facebook status when you’d rather talk to someone about what you’re feeling. It is resigning yourself to a minimum wage job while imprisoning your intelligence between your ears. Our world, particularly our generation, has an abundance of frustration. Every generation deals with their own change, their own coming of age, but, as things often do, they eventually fall into the safety of traditions and routines. In the comfort of sedation; the promise that the work has already been done. Everyone always hopes the work has already been done. We know it’s not true, and that’s why each generation of the 20-somethings are The Ones. The ones forced to pave their own way or follow the one that is, at least, half-done. All we have right now, all each young generation is left with, is the half-finished blueprint of the last, paired with the overwhelming option to put the lines where we know they belong, where they seem to make sense, and not where they might create something unrecognizable. It’s not even so much an “overwhelming option” as it is a trap, or what I’d call a “Sons of Anarchy ultimatum.” You can chose A or B, but A is the one you chose. B ends in chaos, disaster, hurt feelings, and ruined lives. Perhaps that’s a bit charged… but is it? If you really think about it? Lives are ruined by millions of people not living up to their full potential. They are ruined by useless amounts of debt, accrued by doing option A, the one that needs to be done to be successful. The one that means survival. Potential is ruined by price tags, and we are ruined by frustration.

The light at the end of that dark tunnel I just put you in? Faith. Instinct. All that hippy bullshit that you must admit has some merit, for it is the opposite of the concrete, not-working things. It is the faith that the not-working can work again. It is faith that concrete is not all we have. And it’s really nothing more than that. You don’t need to define a faith in one thing, or one being, but it is an instinctual belief that you will not live and die based on the amount of money you have made, or haven’t. That these people around us that comfort us, nurture us and cradle us are more essential than the need to have things. Faith is that knowingness and acknowledgement that hugging a tree in its raw, natural form is different – feels different – than hugging a coffee table or a shelf. Not the faith you find in a church, for that same reason. That feeling of life is what we hold on to.

between unnatural and insane

We do a lot of things that are unnatural. I understand that word has a negative connotation, but it simply means “contrary to the ordinary course of nature.” What defines natural? What defines normal? In every system we observe as humans, we compile trends. We can say “It is normal for kangaroos to carry their newborn in their pouch” because we have observed that behavior time and time again. It is a constant within nature. Kangaroos now and Kangaroos in the 1960s have all carried their newborn in their pouch. We can say “It is normal for squirrels to climb trees” because that is what they do. This is how we define normal. We look around us, and we see order. Squirrels in California will act the same way as squirrels in New York.

The ordinary course of nature is to be naked and hairy. The ordinary course of nature is to walk or run or gallop instead of drive. It just is because it is. The ordinary course of nature does not include buying food, bottling water, predicting weather, containing energy in an electrical grid you can plug into, deodorizing, industrially farming land, chemically enhancing our bodies with artificially created compounds, creating artificial compounds. Ulcers from food so artificial our bodies can no longer process the ingredients.

Really this terribly unnatural industrio-agricultural mess fascinates me most. The consequences are outstanding. To meet the needs of our consumption, food is being produced in unfathomable amounts. I don’t even know how the annual production of raw materials like wheat and corn are measured but even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to wrap my head around it. It is insanity to try and systematically feed 9 billion people. This is true because it’s not working; it doesn’t feed 9 billion people. But what does feeding people mean? Does it mean a full stomach, or does it mean a stomach full of useful materials? What I mean is, you wouldn’t make a trampoline out of cinder blocks. We’re waking up in the midst of our delusion where we believed agriculture would sustain us forever, and we’ve answered the mounting problems with genetic modification and cheaper, artificial “filler” ingredients. To feed more people cheaply. Now we have diverticulitis, irritable bowel syndrome, enteritis, Chron’s disease, ulcerative colitis, esophagitis. These aren’t accidents.

I use the term “we” loosely because we normal, sane people, which most of us are, would not choose to eat a genetically modified apple over a real one made of sugar and water and air. Our invisible owners have chosen this for us, and this is how they do it: They first own the production of materials, whether outright (“We own this”) or more subtly (“This farm is privately owned but the only way to pay for it is with loans from the government or Monsanto”). They support research and development in genetically modified foods by paying scientists who get into this field more than they would pursuing other interests. Scientists graduating from school need all the money they can get, presumably to feed their families something more substantial than Twinkies for dinner. The easiest part is the selling. Genetically modified foods sell themselves because they are cheaper. They are cheaper the same way everything is cheaper: They don’t work. You can put a $50 bookshelf together but it’s going to fall apart a hell of a lot faster than a $500 bookshelf, if you can even get it to stand up on its own.

This is unnatural. This is insanity. This is how a culture behaves when it wants to self-destruct and/or kill off people who are too poor to feed themselves anything. So what is natural? Do we have that answer? I think we’ve been given some clues at least…

don’t waste yourself just existing

If you want things, you’re gonna have to work for them. I don’t mean that in the traditional sense. I don’t believe you should labor to afford a house, food, clothing, and any other basic need we all share. If you’ve read any of my stuff before, you already know that. So what I mean by “If you want things, you’re gonna have to work for them” is quite elementary in context. Here’s a dose of common sense, and a gentle reminder to work for the things you want.

If you want to be intelligent, you’re gonna have to read. And you’re gonna have to learn. You’re gonna have to absorb information, and you’re gonna have to remember it and apply it to your life and your experiences. Knowledge doesn’t help you if you collect it just to have it and never realize when it needs to be utilized.

If you want money, you’re gonna have to save it. Like I said, I don’t believe you should have to spend your life earning basic human needs, but right now that’s what’s happening and that’s what we do. Unfortunately, to be happy, that means: 1. knowing your means, and 2. living within them. Know what’s important and save save save for it. If it’s hard, remind yourself that every time you buy a new pair of shoes for $80 or pay $60 for a new game or get the Iphone 5stkfjks for $500, you are being taken advantage of. Maybe those examples are too remote to relate to, so try one that’s particularly relevant right now: If you order chocolate-covered strawberries from the TV, your laziness is being monetized and taken advantage of. Because it would have been a hell of a lot cheaper to just buy strawberries and buy chocolate and you know that and your girlfriend knows that and if she’s smart she’ll just laugh at you because she’s seen the ridiculously stupid Sherry’s Berries commercials or whatever the hell they are called. Anyway. Your lack of time and energy is being taken advantage of, your gullibility is being taken advantage of, and your self-esteem is being taken advantage of when you spend money (A LOT of money) on dumb things. So, at some point, just stop. Pursue other options. Those temptations are there to keep you indebted. At least recognize them for what they are: Distractions to keep you poor. Saving money for something you (or your family, or your cat, or your friends) actually need is good for your soul.

If you want a happy, healthy relationship, you’re gonna have to work for it. You’ve heard that one before. I’m aware I sound like your mother right now. Happy relationships are happy because they want to be happy. The people in them want to be together. If you genuinely love someone, it’s easy going most of the time, and the times it’s not, it hurts like hell. But that’s why you work to get back to where you should be. This is something that needs to be said: Don’t ever stay together for the kids. Forget that. It’s stupid, don’t do it.

Lastly… if you want to be alive, you’re gonna have to work for it. Work on being alive, and not just blah. Not just eh. Don’t just exist.

Federal Perkins Loan 898 208262

Dear SUNY Student Loan Service Center,

I need to be re-emailed the loan deferment paper. I had my uncle speak with one of your representatives, who assured me all my loans were consolidated and deferred. That was less than a year ago, so I don’t understand why I continually need to fill out forms. I don’t have money to pay my loans back. I want them all to be consolidated.

Thank you.
Jami Leone

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Dear Ms. Leone,

Thank you for your email.

This loan is the $2000.00 Federal Perkins student loan you obtained from the State University of New York at Brockport.

This loan was not consolidated as stated below. Due to the Federal Privacy Act, we cannot provide any specific loan information to a third party without your written authorization.

Billing began in July 2013 with your first $40.00 monthly payment due August 1, 2013. Per our telephone conversation with you December 5, 2013 you stated you were currently unemployed and had a seasonal job and would be able to begin repayment April 1, 2014. A financial deferment form was emailed to you December 5, 2013. You were to complete this form with your financial and employment information since the end of the grace period July 1, 2013. A payment of $26.00 was due with the completed form. The completed financial deferment form was not received at the SLSC. We placed a follow up call to you December 27, 2013.

Due to the Student Loan Service Center not receiving the completed financial deferment form and no return telephone call or correspondence, this loan was accelerated January 10, 2014 and placed with the collection agency General Revenue Corporation. Once accelerated, you forfeit all deferment and/or cancellation benefits. Please contact General Revenue Corporation at 800-234-1472 to discuss repayment arrangements.

SUNY Student Loan Service Center

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Dear SLSC,

There was no reason to “accelerate” my loan to a collections agency. If I had the money, I would be paying you right now. Since I don’t, because I’m laid off from my winery job for the winter, I cannot pay you. I can’t even pay you $26 and I’m very sorry for that. I didn’t even have computer paper at the time I had to fill out the deferment paperwork. I don’t answer the calls because I don’t know how many times it has to go on record that I cannot pay you right now, or else I would be. Clearly you have a well-kept record of our discussions. That wasn’t enough? Now you have a collections agency trying to get money out of me. The story remains the same. I don’t have the money, and now you’ve outsourced your work to someone else, making it more confusing and difficult to get done what needs to get done.

It’s nice to know that your emails are being read and written by real people still. I don’t know who you are exactly, but I want to explain something to you. You work for some corporation (or educational system, doesn’t matter, they are the same) to help them collect debts owed to them. For what? So you can collect a paycheck? That paycheck is not going to be enough to send your kids to school someday. Do you want them to be in this situation when they graduate? What if they don’t want to go the cheap route and get into a good school like RIT or SU? Imagine them opening their acceptance letter, and instead of being genuinely thrilled and excited for them as you should be, you have to fight back the terror as you calculate the debt this will bring for your child and yourself. How are you going to come up with $50-$60,000 a year for tuition? your child has to carry the burden of their education with them for how long?

The crazy thing is, you’ve already thought about this a million times, but you still continue to work for the people who make education be this way. No rational person in this country wants education to be a burden. So WHY do people like you, like me, like all of us, insist on working for and representing these corporations like SLSC, like the government, like General Revenue Corporation? Why? They don’t work for us, they work against us – and yet all we do is play their game, where you get this little cut of money for taking the shit storm of angry people and parents that don’t have any more money to give them. When will it be enough? And are you ready to really ask yourself: is this the way education should work? Is this working? It’s not. Not for any of us. It’s easy to pretend behind a screen that you don’t know me, but you do. It’s called compassion. I’m not part of the problem because I went to school and can’t afford to pay my loans back now, and refuse to have to explain why I can’t over and over and over again. The problem is that education is too expensive. Period. Not the other way around. I’m SO TIRED of people such as your company and General Revenue Corp acting as though I’m the bad person because I signed on the dotted line and now I can’t hold up my end of the bargain. I wanted an education. IT IS MY RIGHT. It is NOT my job to make some corporation money because I wanted to educate myself.

This would be different if I’d gotten myself into $2,000 worth of debt by buying an Xbox and a new phone and stuff I couldn’t afford, but this is my brain we are talking about. And it is priceless. I won’t let you take that from me or convince me otherwise.

Jami Leone

essential Facebook knowledge

Facebook is in the news. This is not surprising. Neither is the “breaking news.” But… maybe it is. Do you understand what Facebook is and what it does?

What is a Facebook?

A room of Facebook servers.

A Facebook office where servers are stored.

An employee holding a Facebook server.

Facebook is a server. A server is defined as “any computerized process that shares a resource to one or more clients.” An example is a mail server, which lets you email back and forth. Facebook will not release the exact number of servers it has, but the estimate in 2012 was “somewhere around 200,000.” If the term “server” is throwing you off, just think of yourself owning 200,000 computers that are connected, so that if you upload a picture on one of them, it can be accessed on all 200,000 of them. This is how information is shared.

What does Facebook do?

Facebook collects information about you. It stores this as data on its servers.

What does Facebook do after it receives and stores data?

One

A familiar face.

Once your data (pictures, posts, information, etc) is shared on Facebook, it is owned by Facebook. Since the CEO of Facebook is Mark Zuckerberg, Mark Zuckerberg owns the content. He is free to do as he pleases since he is owner.

Two

Mark Zuckerberg’s house is bigger than yours.

What he chooses to do is the same old story we’ve heard a thousand times: he turns something intangible (data) into something tangible (money). He sells data (remember, this means your posts, pictures, messages, etc) to companies looking to make more money and waste less time advertising to people who aren’t going to buy their products. So, they ask Mark for access to “women in the 20-25 age range who own dogs.” He connects them to you if you fit this description. He does this via an advertisement. Or an app. Or a game. These companies can then access other information about you depending on what you do, whether you like the company’s page, or allow the game or app additional permissions, etc, etc… it all snowballs from there. MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY and more MONEY.

Because knowledge is power!

The information above was just a brief run through, but here are some essentials you should now understand.

One

Facebook is not just a website you log in and out of. If you don’t understand this, go back to the top of this page.

Two

Facebook exists for Mark Zuckerberg and his “affiliated companies” to make money off of you. Nothing is free… just because the physical act of pushing “post” is free, doesn’t mean it doesn’t come with a price…

Three